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(and some more difficult jobs...)
mistakes not to make
For those considering a career as a guitar mechanic there are certain ground-rules which should always be observed; here are some of the painful blunders I have made (and got away with).
1.
Using a Rickenbacker 4001 bass as a crossbow bolt.
Never use a lamb's-wool buffer on a scratched guitar front whilst strings are still attached to the bridge but flopping about. If you decide to try this trick, make sure your passport is in order first.
I did this in 1974. I had been asked to polish out a scratch on the above mentioned guitar. To save time (huh!) I slackened the strings and laid them to one side, loose on the bench.
The workshop was up a ladder, above the shop office enclosed by peg-board (hardboard with small holes spaced at one inch intervals for hanging hooks). On the other side of the hardboard hung a collection of Fenders and Gibsons.
Needless to say, the vibration of the polishing wheel freed up a loose string and it sprang up, only to be caught around the chuck of the drill. This had the immediate effect of projecting the bass like a rocket across the bench, culminating in the machine head end of the neck punching through the peg-board wall and protruding out into the shop area, neatly (and thankfully) between a Stratocaster (which would have survived the impact) and a brand new Gibson Les Paul (which almost certainly wouldn't).
Very amusing. There wasn't a scratch on the bass but it did need new strings.
Just luck, I suppose.
2.
Treat Superglue like it wants to kill you if it can.
In this case that loose cannon, Gravity, plays key a role. Never open a tube or bottle of superglue anywhere near a precious guitar. Open it away from the instrument.
Murphy's Law states quite specifically that if you don't observe this simple procedure, then the contents of the container will find the guitar.
You will then have to refinish the entire instrument and serves you damn well right.
3.
One way of destroying an expensive acoustic guitar:
Forcing an end-pin jack socket into a hole that is just a little too tight. This can result in explosion.
Yes. Got the T-shirt. Moral: measure twice; cut once. When I did make this mistake, I had two hours before the customer was due back to collect the instrument (a top of the range Martin, of course, with fancy inlays for edge binding). Superglue can be a wonderful thing as well as being an antagonist. It polishes up like a good two-pack lacquer, when fully cured. The beast survived to twang again.
4.
Never mix active with passive pickups.
Not unless you have a degree in electronics. The customer will insist that it no longer sounds the same, even though he specifically asked you to do it and you've told him it's a bad idea and that it wouldn't work. You will end up tearing your hair out (if you have any), giving him his money back and calling him a w*nker. Not good for trade. A very lengthy waste of time and energy
5.
Never try to take just one string out of your mother's tennis racket.
Alright; I lied about getting away with this one. But I was only eight years old. Use anything but that for a string on your first guitar, even if you have to kill the cat yourself.
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to kill the cat in the quantum drawer yet not remain surrealist; click the 3rd yolk really (wild)... |
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